Goals Update

So excited! Here’s an update on my 2014 goal situation.

1. Lose 30 pounds. I’m well on track with that now. I’m running with this amazingly killer app called Zombies Run 5K and I seriously wouldn’t want to run without it. It’s so much fun especially with my music as the soundtrack.
Current status on weight lost: 7lbs. Current weight: 148.6lbs.
Can I get a ‘heck yeah!’?

2. Writing. Hasn’t happened much. The kiddos are back to school now and with hubby heading back to work after a painful 3 weeks off, I’m thinking my days will open up just a little more…at least while Pickle sleeps.
Current status on my books: All those characters are hanging around right where I left them…I’m hoping they’ve at least taken some naps and built a fort during this time…

3. Ugh…my sewing machine. Well. At least there’s some sort of progress with it. I still hate it, but that’s beside the point.
Current status on sewing: Three skirts made for Peanut…One for me, that I hate and will be tearing apart. 3 out of 4 projects on a machine I loath…I’ll take it.

4. Routine. This I have in the bag. This is the one thing I feel like I’ve really gotten down lately.
Current status on routine: House stays relatively clean, laundry mostly up to date, everything is actually dusted and vacuumed and I’m actually finding more time to cook healthier snacks and meals. Yay!

5. Reading. Okay. So, I’ve been reading so much I actually have three different books started…no…wait…four. Four books. This is what I’m reading right now: Left Behind, Into the Wild, Animal Farm and the kids and I are reading The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe…which we’re finishing today so we can watch the movie tonight. So, there’s that.
Current status on reading 10 books: 1 down, another almost done, so 8 more to go.

6. 86ing social media and blogging more. Obviously the blogging thing hasn’t happened as much as I would like, but with the wireless not working in the house, and the desktop computer being as slow as it is, it’s a bit of a pain getting around the internet. So, social media use has gone down quite a bit from before and I’m finding a hell of a lot more time to get everything done. Not only that, but I’m finding it easier mentally to stay focused and driven. I feel less like a failure and more productive at the end of my day. So this has been a success so far, even if I’m not blogging much.
Current status on all that: I’m happy with it. Holler!

So, that’s that. If anyone’s using that Zombies Run 5K app, find me! All my run are posted and my little base looks, well, still looks like shit but I’m happy with it. My username is lynnmarie.

Peace, love and goal-ass kicking! Whoot!
~Lynnmarie

Day #3….no bueno

Well, I failed to do my mile which I was planning on doing at night. Then I only got up to 5,037 words in my story. So I’m feeling a bit like a failure right now. But honestly, I think I might need to reassess how many words I’m shooting for each day. I might be better off just doing half, the 2,500 mark. Especially now that the kids have hit the end of the school year groove where everything is happening all at once, things are getting a bit hairy schedule-wise.

But today. Today is the day I get back on track. I run like hell, write like Dickens and get all the housework done.

Like laundry.

Oh, laundry! The bane of my existence!

Whoops! I meant to post this, but didn’t, because that’s what happens when you just wander away from the computer. Anyways. I ran my mile. 13 minutes and 51 seconds…not too shabby for not running the past 4 days.
Then I worked on some jewelry…

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Made these for lunch…2014-06-04 14.58.42
Then snuggled the sweet baby girl.

So it’s been a pretty productive day.

I also made up my mind too.

Someone said I was determined. That if I wanted something I wouldn’t stop until I got it. Which is strange because I don’t seem to remember that person very well. The only thing I can think of is getting my associates degree, but that’s just a silly art degree that the negative part of my brain constantly tells me that I won’t do a single thing with it and it was a waste of time.

I decided today that the negative part of my brain wasn’t allowed to speak anymore. I also decided to just go for it. All of it. The book. The jewelry. That Arbonne business that I started last year. Everything. I’m done holding back. I can’t afford to anymore because the guilt of not finishing these things, or working hard at them, is too strong and that’s the last thing I need right now is to add more disappointment and guilt to my plate.

And, yet again, I forgot to finish and post…this mommy-brain is a doozie. Whoops. Haha.

Peace, love and mommy-brain,
~Lynnmarie

 

Day #2…

These days are flying by! I can’t seem to keep up half the time, but somehow everything manages to get done. Must be some sort of mommy magic. 

Well. I actually really got a good start on the fast draft yesterday. I ended the day with 3,458 words. I also ended the day without running a mile, so that bummed me out a bit but I’m not giving up! I’ll get that mile done today and my 5,000 words if it kills me. 

Who knows….it might. haha

I’m getting pretty excited about my story though. There’s no outline, no planning so I’m essentially flying by the seat of my pants on this, but I’m finding that it’s getting easier to get into my main character’s head and to see what she is witnessing and feeling. 

Here’s to hitting some goals today! Hopefully that mile will be under 14 minutes and my word count will exceed 8,458. 

Saaaaay whaaaaaaat?! 

Peace, love and loads of hope,
~Lynnmaire

Fast Draft

So, I joined a workshop called Fast Draft and I’m starting today. I’ve had quite a few stories bouncing around for the past year and a half and haven’t been able to finish a single one. I have these characters standing in my head, you know, like on the video games, where they’re just standing there, slightly swaying and waiting for me to pick up the controller and tell them where to go.

They’re all just staring at me!

It’s intimidating. It’s exhausting. It’s frustrating. And I, by no means, need anymore stress in my life right now, so one by one, each character’s controller will be picked up, their story written and then maybe I can close my eyes without them giving me a guilt trip.

I’m essentially writing a book in two weeks by dedicating a good chunk of my day to it and hitting my daily page counts and I’m scared to death. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll fail. Maybe it’ll suck.Maybe I’ll just give up half way though and never try again…ugh.

Anyways, not only am I committing to this, I’ve been challenging myself to run a mile every day, and beat my time from the day before. Luckily I am so out of shape (newborns can do that to you I guess, haha) that the first day I ran a mile in 17 minutes and 45 seconds.

So, lets just say that I’ve got quite the job on my hands. I mean, it only took a few days and my time is already down to 14 minutes and 34 seconds, but my ultimate goal is to run a 7 minute mile. Which is huge considering I was never much of a runner to begin with.

Those are the “things” that keep me, “me” while embracing the S.A.H.M. life. Writing it on here will help too, to keep me accountable for my goals. I’m scared. I know the keyboard and the treadmill won’t swallow me alive but it’s scary to make such great changes and huge commitments like these but the butterflies of excitement in my tummy are starting to overshadow the fear.

I. Can. Do. This!

Peace, love and challenges,
~Lynnmaire

P.S. This silly girl must sense that I have big goals to reach…she’s extra, extra playful all of a sudden. <3
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Yellow Bird

We have a lot of different kinds of birds on Cape and I’m always reminded of my Great Grandparents whenever I see a Blue Jay or a Cardinal.

I don’t know why, exactly, but they loved to bird watch and those two always seemed to make them smile.

But today was a little different. Today I saw a little yellow bird. I’ve never actually seen one in our yard before. I’ve seen them on tv, in movies, books and everywhere else except in person but the real reason why this was so special is that this time it felt like a little sign from my Grampa J.

Yesterday was an alright day. It was rough though. It could have been because I slammed my stomach into a door knob when the door suddenly jammed as I was going in. It could have been that the things I had been thinking about this past week regarding a career and finances and such just came to a boiling point in my head. There were a lot of different things that all could have come to make it an emotionally difficult day.

When I got up this morning I just felt even worse.

Why? I don’t know. I guess that just happens when you line up all those dominos for the month and one falls a little too early. Normally I can handle it, figure things out, but this on top of everything else just seemed to make the little aggravating things a lot bigger than they are.

I needed this little hug from heaven today like you wouldn’t believe.

I don’t even know how I’m feeling right now, either. I want to cry. I want to smile. I want to jump up and do everything at once but I just want to plop on the couch and do nothing.

Well, Grampa J was one hilarious and amazing Grampa. He was smart, witty, caring, loving and bit silly at exactly the right times. We would sit around the kitchen table in the mornings and have breakfast together. He would let me have little sips of his coffee off his spoon when Gramma wasn’t looking. He would also come up with little bouts of silly poems or jokes and my brothers and I would just laugh.

One in particular always makes me smile…which is why the little yellow bird this morning felt like a big ‘ol hug from him at exactly the time I needed it.

“A yellow bird, with a yellow bill, hopped upon my window sill. He cocked his shiny eye and said, ‘Wake up! You sleepy head!!”, so I took my shoe…and bashed his head.”

Besides the implied violence against the little bird, and the way this rhyme doesn’t really rhyme at the end, my brothers and I would laugh, and laugh…

….and laugh some more. It was so ridiculous. It was so silly! It was completely unexpected at the end and took us by surprise especially since he usually said these things right when we got up in the morning.

Maybe that was his way of making sure we started our days out with a laugh.

Maybe that’s what this is really about.

A little reminder from him to start my day, our day, joyfully so it sets the day up to be a good one.

Maybe that’s something I’ve forgotten as I’ve been searching for that career move and allowing all the stuff I’ve had on my mind to take over my own emotions.

Thank you Grampa J for that reminder. Thank you for your hug today. Thank you for reminding me that it’s not about what you do, where you are or how much money you make a year…it’s about starting your day around the kitchen table, giggling with your family and embracing the true gifts that you have.

God, I miss him so much.

I needed that little yellow bird today. I’m glad that I noticed him in the little tree in our garden. I thought to myself, “is that…is that a little yellow bird? I hope he’s got a little yellow bill…” and out he flies, to the top of a bush right in sight.

Guess what?

He had a little yellow bill….and he cocked his shiny eye…he flittered and shook…and flew away into the sky…

He didn’t have to tell me to wake up…just the sight of him did that for me.

Peace, love and little signs from above,
<3 Lindsay